I’ve had a hard time giving in to love. Holding myself back, watching for inconsistencies, and handling disappointment have been my history. Things have been different with Rick. As I look back on my life and evaluate things, I realize that I’m different too.
Within the last few years, I’ve finally come to see God has “my husband.” I always thought people who said that were totally cuckoo. I couldn’t understand it. But as I’ve begun to understand God as my provider, comfort, joy, strength, and the only one who can love me perfectly, the role of husband has become clear. The role of husband isn’t for him to be my everything. but to be my partner as we look together to Christ to be our provider, comfort, joy, strength, and One who loves us perfectly. I am The Bride of Christ – a part of His church and special to Him. And understanding His love for me makes me realize that all other human love is just a shadow of the way He loves.
How has this changed me in relationships? Well, for starters, I don’t expect Rick to be God. He is wonderful, but he isn’t perfect. He is so very, very good, but he isn’t the answer to my every need or desire. When I try to place that burden on him, it’s too much for him to bear. Any man would crumble under the weight of that load. When I recognize that God is working out His plan for my life and trust Him in it, then I can let Rick be who he is. I can relax when things don’t go the way that seems right to me and realize that God is still taking care of me. I don’t have to fight and fuss and get uptight. (Er, uh, ahem…)
Do I ever fight and fuss and get uptight? Well, the things is, I’m not perfect either. And I’m really thankful that Rick doesn’t expect me to be God. When I get my eyes off Jesus and start looking at the waves around me, I can get scared and start sinking when I could be walking on the water. A good friend who knows me well has a most annoyingly accurate phrase she uses at times: Don’t poke the bear! Yes, she’s referring to me when I get out of sorts. (Not exactly the most flattering description…) But God sent me a kind, patient, understanding man who is strong enough to handle me. I feel such security with him. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I can relax and let Rick be Rick and God be God.
It’s a much better deal all around.