Dear Dirty Little Fly,
You’ve got a lot of nerve to be landing on me. I live in this house and you are intruding. I’ve put up with you landing on me for three days now and today you’ve become quite bold – landing on my hand while I type. So I’ve gotten my hairspray bottle and am waiting on you to make another such infringement. I don’t need a fly swatter. I only need to freeze your little wings and put you outside to be eaten by a spider. Ooohhh, I feel so bad for you. You’re going to die.