People are Messy

In my twenties, I learned just how dysfunctional my family is. I went to counseling, learned a lot about how to handle my own reactions and how to see things more clearly. Those years of counseling also helped me see just how dysfunctional almost everyone around me is. I began to get discouraged. No matter how much work I did on myself, trying to get emotionally healthy and balanced, the people around me were rarely doing the same hard work and I still had to deal with them. Ugh.

So should I get bitter and judge everyone harshly? Should I become sarcastic and jaded and mean? That doesn’t sound like much fun either. I’m really trying to avoid that yucky line that is creasing the spot between my eyebrows. I wonder if I can reverse the work it’s already done if I learn to relax?

Now in my thirties I’ve decided that I can’t go through life constantly looking for the crazies in people and discarding them if they disappoint me. No one would be left! And if I get discarded every time I disappoint someone, well…

So I’ve decided to try to embrace the messiness of other people. They aren’t like me; they probably don’t want to be like me. Other people aren’t typically going to make my life easier or smoother, but they often make me happier. It’s when I get all tied up in knots because their crazies come out that I get unhappy and that blasted line appears again.

Don’t get me wrong, if you add more insanity to my life than the joy you bring, I’m not stupid. I’ll withdraw myself and allow you to create your own chaos without me. But if you bring anywhere near as much joy to my life as you bring craziness, I’ll probably keep you. I’ve decided to like people.


Filed under Spiritual Life

2 responses to “People are Messy

  1. Carol Roberts

    Oh, Kimberly, this really touched me. New to my life in East Nashville, I’m dealing with my first challenge–trying to be helpful and loving to a woman who doesn’t play by the rules. My rules, I guess you could say. She rewards my efforts with more requests, lies, pouting, and I’m really afraid that last night she was using drugs again. I don’t have enough love or wisdom to do this. God help me.

  2. Pingback: Sex Sells? « Kimberly Wenger’s Blog

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